letsallchant (
letsallchant) wrote2011-10-30 05:55 am
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The Hottest Love Has the Coldest End
How on earth could I be any more obvious?
I never really did and now it's never gonna happen with the two of us
I don't understand what it is that you're chasing after
But it makes me really sad to hear you sound so desperate
It just makes it harder
-
Never Gonna Happen, Lily Allen
He's not surprised when she leaves him.
It happens on a Tuesday, after wrapping up a normal case together. Nothing unusual. If he were placing bets, he always thought it would've happened after their horrendous first case together. He suspected it would happen after Stoat and Milago. Or morbidly, after she'd been missing for 18 hours. But he was always expecting it, he just didn't know when.
He'd grown so dependent on her over the years, it scared him when he noticed he could no longer be without her. To him, this was an unstoppable, yet disturbing development over the years. The truth was, she'd always had the upper hand, and it unnerved him.
But after all the disasters and the fallouts over the years, he wanted to make it up to her, to finally let her in. She was the last and only one for him, and he couldn't and wouldn't deny himself of her any longer. He wanted her, in every sense of the word. And he was ready to give himself over to her completely.
But sometimes he forgets who they are. He has a great understanding of human behavior and never misses a thing, but somehow, he misses her tells; the distance in her eyes, the apprehension in her body language, the coldness of someone far removed, carrying deadened feelings of a twice heart broken heart.
Oblivion and denial had been their un-doing. He'd figured it out too late, they'd missed each other at different times, their hearts and emotions involved in a years-long game of phone-tag, neither one of them willing to completely understand or admit it, lest an ego get broken.
But nonetheless, he's not surprised that he's standing here after pleading with her in desperation, watching her leave him for the last time, as she boarded the train, embarking on her new life without him, her kiss drying on his cheek. It was never gonna happen anyway he thinks to himself, as he walks away.